sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
