this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
