so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
