It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
