you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Randomize
