yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
