one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
