I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
