So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's just like the Real World with babies
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
