the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
