I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
