Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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