My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
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