my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
