I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
