This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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