tell your sister to shave her snatch
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
