remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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