Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize