How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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