i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
