Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
