things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
