You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
