Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
