Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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