Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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(804): View more from Virginia

I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

(785): View more from Kansas

I could make treat bags

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(435): View more from Utah

Sex in the moonbounce later?

(801): View more from Utah

This is why I love you.

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(917): View more from New York City

She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.

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