Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
