We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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