I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
