I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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