I got chris browned last night
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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