That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize