...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
