It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
