i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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