I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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