that's an acceptable place to lick
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
