why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
