sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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