honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
two words...techno handjob
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
