She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
