we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
