ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
