yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize