I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
