I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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