What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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