her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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