im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
