piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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