I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
