There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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