How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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