This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
