Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My balls are so social today.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's always time for handjobs
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
