Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
