Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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