his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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